


Five Things Rose Tyler Says When She Visits Planet Israel.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Religion Changes, Gen, I have no shame, Jewish AU, Judaism, Podfic Available, five things, shortfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-12
Updated: 2010-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-11 16:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Rose visit the Planet Of The Jews. A "Characters Are Randomly Jewish" AU shortshort; or: I HAVE NO SHAME AND THERE IS NO REASONABLE EXCUSE FOR THIS. HAPPY TISHREI.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Rose Tyler Says When She Visits Planet Israel.

**Author's Note:**

> **Continuity/Canon:** New Who at its very basic.
> 
>  
> 
> IN MY DEFENSE, I AM JEWISH. THAT IS MY ONLY DEFENSE.

_1\. Introductions._

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor says brightly. "And this is--"

"Shoshana bas Pinchas," Rose interrupts smoothly. "Call me Shoshie, everyone else does. Or Shosh. As in, 'shush, Shosh, mind your own business'. Or 'shush, Shosh, we're trying to find the Lost Scroll of Something I Can't Pronounce.' By the way, have you people seen it? We need to get it back before someone tries to counterfeit it on Pluto's black market in fifty thousand years."

 

_2\. Playing Jewish Geography. _

"No, I'm from London. It's in England. I don't know anyone from London, Ontario. But I did once go to a seder in Manchester and I met a girl there called Batsheva Jones. I think she was from Ottawa originally. Do you know the family?"

 

_3\. Turning Down A Shadchan's Offer. _

"Oh, no, thanks, but that's not necessary. I have a boyfriend," Rose says. "Mechael. He's back home. On a different planet. You can think of it as us keeping very elaborate shomer negiah. My cousin's uncle's rabbi is the Tardiser Rebbe and he thinks it's a terrific minhag and everyone should adopt it."

 

_4\. Success! _

"Doctor, I found it! I know where it is! That's the good news. The bad news is, it's stuck in a Talmud Yerushalmi. And I'm surrounded by Bablis. It's like they're breeding in the dark. Um. I think they might actually be breeding in the dark. Quick, what's today's Daf Yomi? Because I think it's trying to eat me."

 

_5\. Saying Goodbye. _

"Don't worry," Rose reassures Ronit Azulai. "I bench gomel every time I can find a minyan. I never, ever skip it. The one time I did, the universe almost exploded."

Morah Ronit looks askance at the Doctor. "I'll keep you mind during Acheinu," she promises. "And we'll set up a tehilim group for you. Don't forget to tell your mother I said hello."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Five Things Rose Tyler Says When She Visits Planet Israel.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494839) by [Chestnut_filly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chestnut_filly/pseuds/Chestnut_filly)




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